Adventures of living with a church planter

Again I'm in a privileged position of being able to support a family and a church plant and witness first-hand how much work is involved, although I know I don't get to see or hear everything that goes on. I may be living with David and Trish but there are still boundaries regarding the church plant – which is quite right and a good thing too – I don't want the responsibility or burden of knowing all that happens. There are pastoral issues and lots of other things I don't know about. Yes, I knew David and Trish before joining the church plant team but that doesn't give me a right (or a need) to know everything. After all I'm a church plant team member like the rest of the church plant and I fully acknowledge and understand there are issues and decisions we don't need to know about and I trust decisions made on our behalf. I feel privileged to have witnessed first-hand in Serbia what a church plant team have to deal with. That was a great training ground and made me really appreciate the eldership of churches (and the role some wives play) – from outside looking in you cannot see how much goes on unless you are able to spend time with them. I was able to do that and am able to do that here in Belfast too.

So having seen in Serbia how much work is involved seeing it here in Belfast hasn’t surprised me. I’ve taken it as being the usual thing to do. But when I think about how much David and Trish do it’s amazing to see the different facets of their lives and how they all connect and are affected by each other. Here are some of my observations from living with a church planter…

I know when we look at other people we don’t just see one thing. Take me, for example. I hope people don’t just see me as a female! I’m a sister, an Aunt, a friend, a giggler, and so much more…So when I look at David and Trish I don’t see them as only a church plant couple. If you know them, even a tiny bit, you’ll be able to add more to who they are.

This couple (I think I could also add family here) don’t do things by halves. If they are going to do something, they’re going to do something. Like most church planters they heard the call of God and have acted on it. Thankfully God spoke to the girls at the same time so that has eased parts of the transition. It’s not just David and Trish that have been affected by the move, it’s the whole family - extended included. Starting a church plant and being pregnant adds another dimension.

David’s role as a church plant leader is not 9-5, 5-days a week. If only it was that simple it would help make life a bit more simpler. It’s good that he plans family time and date night into his week - this is very important. He’s also juggling days lecturing at University. He finds time, practically every day, to read, learn, watch sermons. He spends time preparing for preaches. How he’s able to do that sitting at the kitchen table with a hum of activity going on around him amazes me.

I’m shocked at the burden involved in looking after a church plant and how it impacts the rest of the family. David takes this very seriously. Of course his main priority is looking after his family but he also takes the responsibility of looking after the church seriously.

I’m sure Redeemer Central is no different from other churches - they run smoothly for a while then things get stirred up for one reason or another. I’m sure we all forget at times that leaders are also human and not very different from us. They don’t have a hotline to heaven with all the answers to please everyone all of the time. There have been times when decisions are made that I don’t agree with - I have a choice. I can either voice them and ask for guidance or better understanding (sometimes when I hear the bigger picture I can see why a decision has been made) or I can acknowledge I don’t agree with the decision but submit to it with grace or I can let the fact I don’t agree with the decision fester and poison relationships (if I do that I cannot blame anyone but myself for things not improving - how can I expect someone to do something if they are unaware there is a problem? Humans are not mind readers!).

Looking after the church has been greatly impacted by the arrival of baby Jude. But hats off to them the way they’re coping with his arrival. I know he’s their 4th baby but each child has their own personality, he’s their first son and the other children didn’t arrive while they were church planting. They haven’t had the blessing of David off work for the first few weeks to focus only on the family.  Admittedly that was the plan but Satan has had other plans. How they are coping with the lack of sleep I don’t know. I don’t get much sleep but that has nothing to do with the family and I don’t have the responsibility of looking after 3 daughters, son, wife, church and lectures. It’s strange to think that the majority of the church plant team have only known Trish pregnant and haven’t known the fun, crazy lady she is (I’m not saying she’s been boring during her pregnancy but she has been restricted to how much she could do).

Another observation is the importance of unity within the marriage. To change your life and become a church planter is a huge step - one not to be taken lightly. It’s imperative that if you have a spouse you are both called to church plant. When the troubled times comes, and unfortunately they do, to have the support and strength in a personal relationship is invaluable. I am able to witness the outworking of a Christian marriage in action on a daily basis. They are a team, working hard together but not an exclusive team.

One thing living with a church planter has taught me (teaching me) is how hard it is to lead a church plant, how much prayer cover they require, how much prayer cover we receive from them, how much church planting is an integral part of their lives, how much the church plant must unite together in prayer for each other - do not let the wolf in, be vigilant and keep communication going.

Comments

speaking as child growing up in leadership - my dad’s a Baptist minister, Trish+DC and the kids will need lots of prayer, and understanding. i’ve had crazy things said and done to my parents that just shouldn’t happen.

they are people too. people who love curry and the wire. regular people who are doing what God has called them to. we need to tell them and show them we support them, cos they’ll get tired, and forget that we love them.

we also need to live like we believe this; Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.
Ephesians 4:2

so when things get sketch, we just need to talk in truth and love, cos we’re all the same.

good one Caf!

By Leah Gallant. Posted on Thursday 5th Nov 2009 at 21:48

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