Put your hands in the air stand up sit down sing a song say hello turn around
Some time ago I was invited to go and watch the Belfast Giants play ice hockey. For an ice hockey virgin stepping into the home of the Giants, the Odyssey arena, was to say the least, otherworldly. I only have two ice rink sports based memories the first is of Torville and Dean in theatrical dress dancing and throwing each other around and getting all upset. The other is of the Slovak professional ice hockey player Miroslav Satan at the 1994 Winter Olympic Games. As young geeky evangelical pastors kids we had endless minutes of fun with this (a geek of course being a word derived from 18th century circus performers who bit heads off chickens, but that's another story) the thought of Satan playing ice hockey in hell was soon put to bed by the obvious temperature disadvantage that exists there. Although, as I was fast learning, watching the game, for some, may of course be used as a very successful form of eternal punishment.
Back to the game – I had absolutely no idea at all what was going on. Ok, I get the whole trying to hit the puck into the goal thing but that was about as much as I could work out. Players kept leaving the pitch (is it a pitch or a rink?) and swapping with other players, the numbers of players on the pitch seemed to vary and the man wearing black and white stripes kept pointing and making funny gestures like the table tennis men at airports directing planes. There is something all together odd about a man in smart black trousers wearing white ice skates gliding around an ice rink. Everything also seemed to be sponsored. There was a sponsered ‘Subway 15 minutes’ and the ‘Dial a Slice tomatoecheesehampineapple special break’. The only near solace was one of the 4 breaks where we drank Guinness that tasted like it had been strained through a tramps sock. The game eventually ended, I was non-the-wiser and felt just as much of an ice hockey outsider as I did when the game started.
Ever wondered what it’s like for someone to come to church for the first time? Someone at the door to shake your hand and give you some kind of newsletter and maybe even a book full of song lyrics. A room full of chairs or wooden pews all facing in one direction, maybe towards a stage where a bunch of musicians are rehearsing odd sounding songs you have never heard of, standing next to a screen where words will soon appear and everyone will partake in a mass karaoke sing along. A welcome table, a mailing list, a polystyrene cup containing a weird teaoffee brew. Maybe some people with pin-on plastic badges that say ‘welcome team’, people in smart suits or even jeans and t-shirts. A bunch of guys doing something that looks like praying in the corner. Some odd sounding music coming out of a CD player where it sounds like lots of people are singing and clapping. Words that you don’t recognise like ‘ministry, service, offering, apostolic, liturgy, communion’. And this is all before the ‘meeting’ has even started. When it does you stand up, sit down, turn around and say ‘hello’, sing some songs, someone prays. What language was that? What does ‘thee and thou’ mean? Can I drink the wine? What is kids work and where is it? Why is someone speaking for 40 minutes? Put my hand up? Bow on a cushion? Sing a kids song, do some ‘actions’? Whats a cell? A vestry? Tongues? Prophecy? Incense? The meeting eventually ends, they are non-the-wiser and feel just as much of a church outsider as they did when the meeting started.
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Comments
we all know what assuming does!
i’m an ass, your an ass…
anyway, so the question then DC is, how do we prevent that?
so many churches operate exactly the way you described above. so do we just explain more stuff? like who we are, give a general outline of how we roll during said meeting? if someone gives a tongue, is it then explained what that is and why its not so freaky.
do our welcome team people..wait, do we even have a welcome team, or really should anyone who attends (insert church name) Redeemer, be aware and be sincere in our welcoming because we all know what church is typically like.
i think, and i’ve experienced at my NF church in Canada that taking 2 minutes and explaining things is really all it requires.
good thoughts DC. i’m glad you say what everyones thinking.
ps. hockey’s less confusing in Canada…
By Leah Gallant. Posted on Tuesday 17th Nov 2009 at 01:01
I love the insight. I know that in my personal experience and through observation that if people are in a new situation & there is something visual to look at - or to read, they tend to read it. (You know how new people always hang out around the desk with the flyers on it)
So at Uni, when I started out in the Gym, I didn’t really know what to do, but the posters on the walls gave advice and I found reading them really helpful.
In church, I’ve noticed that new people always begin to fiddle and read the leaflets placed on their seats mid-service.
Interesting, because maybe that is where the church needs to be making sure that every seat has a welcome booklet in place…engaging those people in conversation is another world though completely…
By Amy Soyka. Posted on Tuesday 17th Nov 2009 at 09:00
This is great Dave. The Church often is guilty of ‘The Great Assumption’ - assuming that people know who we are, what we do and what we mean. Dare I say we should “Never assume anything of anyone”.
By David Armstrong. Posted on Monday 16th Nov 2009 at 16:01