Sucking sailors nipples and three other ways christianity came to Ireland

Slightly perturbed by the title? Me too. But it happened, to a young man by the name of Patricius aka St Patrick, patron saint of Ireland and to some, patron saint of getting a day of work to get an overload of stout. Somewhere around 400 AD the young half-a-man, skinny and gaunt from years of cold, hard labour in the bleak Antrim countryside is attempting to negotiate safe passage back to his native England. The hardened sailor with whom he negotiates is no fool. Why hire a weak shepherd with a suspiciously odd accent, this was a job for men. But Patricius had not made his dangerous journey through dark nights to this coastal town on a whim. He carried a promise. This was no ordinary journey.

Dreams

After years of hunger, the day before his escape from slavery, Patricius is woken in the middle of the night by a voice: “your hungers are rewarded: you are going home.”  In many ways Patrick was already home, he just didn’t know it yet.  The land of his captivity was the place where he had found an otherworldly home, one that would eventually guide him back to serve his captors. 

Promise

As the promise bearer the rebuttal of the ships captain must have seemed confusing.  How was Patrick going to find safe passage back to his home?  Minutes before the ship is set to sail, the captain of the ship has a change of heart.  Or rather has his heart changed.  Calling to Patrick a sailor shouts “come quickly, they are calling you.”  The sailors offer their nipples for Patrick to suck, an ancient Irish way of “kiss and make up.”  Patrick declines the offer, causing no offense, and boards the ship.

Faith

Three days later the ship finds land, the crew and cargo of dogs begin an arduous two week trek.  With little food or water the crew struggle “half dead” across the barren countryside.  In desperation the sailors begin to taunt Patrick, “You say your god is great and all-powerful, so why can’t you pray for us?  We’re starving to death, and there’s little chance of our ever seeing a living soul!”  Patrick’s response comes from a soul that was once dead but now lives, “from the bottom of your heart, turn trustingly to the Lord my God, for nothing is impossible to him.  And today he will send you food for your journey until you are filled, for he has an abundance everywhere.”

Call

Back home in the safe haven of his parents care Patrick can begin a new life, catching up on the missed years of education.  There was however another plan.  Again, woken in the night, this time by a familiar voice of someone he met during his captivity.  The words of a letter are read to him, “we beg you to come and walk among us once more.” The title of the letter? The Voice of the Irish.  Patrick was going back home, this time as a different kind of slave.  As a servant with a call to serve the people who had forcibly imprisoned him.  Patrick was a man with a call: “you are going home.”

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