White taxis and butternut squash

God spoke to me very clearly just recently. He conveyed to me how much He cherished me in a way that I had never quite grasped before. I viewed a wonderful film in my mind’s eye of a maternity ward where my birth was taking place. God waited for me to take my first breath of life and let out that first cry which brings joy and relief and wonderment to a parent. I felt wanted, cherished, loved, safe, adored, like my life was planned and I was longed for by my heavenly father. I’ve never felt as loved as I did in that moment. God delighted in me.

That very same afternoon as I sat on the summer seat in front of my house, reading a book and enjoying the glorious sunshine I dared ask God “Really? You love me that much? Really? Show me, show me Lord…” As I looked up from the pages of my book for a moment, a white taxi passed by with the words ‘NO.1 VIP’ boldly emblazoned on the side in big black letters. I laughed out loud to myself and dared to believe it was God appealing to me to understand that I was that important to him. I think my next door neighbour who was busy toiling away in the heat of the day washing his and his wife’s cars thought the girl next door had gone quite mad or was reading an extremely funny book. I thought to myself how sad it was that he was so busy making sure his car was squeaky clean that he was missing the beauty of the summer’s day. What made me even sadder was how many of these moments of God tenderly speaking to me I had probably missed because I was too busy with the daily chores of family life with three children and a home to look after. How many Bruce Almighty moments have I had where I have been speeding down the highway of life failing to notice the flashing neon lights warning me to ‘SLOW DOWN’?

Since that moment where I felt God’s joy at my birth and his delight that I was born, I have become greedy for his presence. I long to know him more and more in my everyday life. I apologise if this sounds like a load of self-centred drivel, it is in no way intended to come across in such a manner. It’s just, well…the God of the universe loves me, He went out of his way to show it when he sent Jesus to die a horrific death on the cross so that he could know me and he went out of his way to communicate his heart of love for me when he reminded me that I am the apple of his eye, and have been so since before my life began.
I’ve since been asking God to show me his heart of love towards me in my everyday life at home with the children and he has been so faithful in answering. My oldest son turned to me while sitting on the toilet and said; “Mum, I love you, friends forever?” My middle son, leaned over and planted the gentlest kiss on my cheek as I lifted him into the bath. My eleven week old son smiled at me and squealed with delight as I splashed water over his belly during his bath time. What are these moments all about if not moments of affection straight from the heart of God? How many of these moments of tender love have I missed in my eagerness to get bath time done so we can move onto stories, prayers and lights out?

Just last night I went to do my weekly grocery shop at a local supermarket. After whizzing round mostly in a daze I arrived at the checkout, put all my items on the belt to be scanned and then moved along to the other side of the till to pack up my purchases so I could pay and get home as quickly as possible. As the cashier scanned, I packed, until it came to the butternut squash I had picked wouldn’t scan as it was without a barcode sticker, so the checkout lady had to call for an assistant to go fetch another one with a barcode. On her return, I noticed she had replaced my ordinary butternut squash with one from the ‘Finest’ range. They are more expensive I thought to myself. Huh. As it was scanned I said to the checkout lady that I would have that one instead. She said; “Just right. Don’t settle for anything less than the finest”. Wow. Little did the cashier lady realize that those simple words had penetrated my heart. Even in a moment when I wasn’t being all that nice God still spoke straight to the core of my heart. Even when I was more concerned with getting the expensive, better quality butternut squash it was as if God was saying; “Don’t settle for anything less than the finest in your relationship with me”. I have been craving his voice and his presence and he spoke to me, even when I was feeling tired at the end of a long day, in what could easily have been another mundane trip to the supermarket. Don’t you just love that? God broke into that routine moment of the supermarket trip and made it something significant for me. I didn’t feel weary anymore. I felt exhilarated. How precious to hear the voice of my heavenly father speaking to me amid the noise of ringing tills and ‘buy one get one free’ announcements. What a personal and intimate God who shows up in the details of everyday life. I’ll have more of that please…

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